The Best Part About Being At The Bottom...

....Is That The Only Way You Can Look Is UP.

Once again, I failed another test. Two today actually.School is so important to me. I would love to be able to pull off 80s and 90s, and I honestly thought I would be able to. Turns out I have to struggle to get 70s. It almost feels like settling for 70s. And that kind of compromise isn't something that I'm comfortable with. At the same time, I am spending all my efforts trying to pull my grades up. It's a constant struggle and sometimes it seems like no matter how hard I try, I'll only ever be mediocre.

Of course, it could just be that I set my standards too high

.So what if I don't get perfect grades. The reason I don't spend twenty-four hours seven days a week on school work, is because I do other things. I play piano, I volunteer at the school, I help my mom the best I can when dad's not home. And isn't that a much better way to spend my time anyways?
Something else I need to remember is that I’m not other people, and I can’t compare myself to them. I've got these amazing friends who succeed at so many things, and I'm so proud of them. But they're not me. They've made their choices, and I've got to decide where my priorities should be.

Of course, that doesn't still the ever constant fears in my head. Such as getting into university. Being able to continue my studies past high school has always been a goal. I just can't seem to reach getting grades decent enough to be able to choose where I can go.

Sometimes I wonder what God has in mind for my life. I'm thankful He knows, because I honestly haven't got a clue. And that scares me, but really it shouldn't. If I know that He's in control, then I know that things will fall into their own place, and all I can do is do the best with the talents He has given me. Even if I have to find out what those are first. Patience is a constant lesson that He's teaching me.

So today was a bit of an off day. Made better by small moments such as watching my sister and her friends sing their hearts out. Or how amazing and supportive my parents were today. I'm so thankful for my family. Today's rating? 5/10.