Thursday, May 27, 2010


Here's a list of things I am thankful for today.

-I've got amazing, accepting friends. Seriously, I don't know how people put up with some of the things I do. And I love you for it.

-I've got an amazing family. Sure, we've got our issues, but we work through them. Together.

-I've got my faith. For those moments when I sit and wonder how on earth to get out all the things in my head, and to find some of the answers for the toughest questions, He's always there. Through anything and everything.

-Photography. I love it. I love looking at the pictures of the people who have a great deal of passion and love for it. There's something extra special in capturing a moment. Somethings you can't fully capture, like the sounds of the rain around you as you snap the dewy leaf, the laughter of friends in the shot you got of their latest antics. For me, it's capturing a little piece of the gift God gave this world. A little corner off of the edge of the enormous puzzle that is creation.

-It's raining. As most people know, and some people mock me for, I love rain. I love everything about it from the sound, to the smell ,to the silence. I was driving today trying to figure out why it was that I loved driving in the rain. Some say it's because of the sounds of the pitter-patter. For me, it's the silence. You're driving along, and it's sort of like you're in your own world as you listen to the silence. Most people might think that's absurd, and doesn't make sense. After all, you hear the rain, don't you? Ya, but that's the only thing you can hear. It creates it's own silence. And it's beautiful and awe inspiring.

-The simple, accepting prayers of a child. A prayer without expectations, a prayer without complications, just the honest words of a young mind to their God. They know that He'll hear them, doubts aren't even something they could consider. And it's something that gets so lost as we get older, and as we would like to believe, wiser.

All of these are the simplest things, and yet they mean so very much.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010


Sometimes the truth hurts.

But it's better than the never ending guessing. Better then that voice in the back of your mind reminding you of the worst possible outcome.

It's better than not knowing anything at all.

Even if it's something loud and obtrusive in your life, it's better than the whispers of doubts.

I will blog more. I'm just going through some very stressful things right now, one being the ever looming diplomas and finals. This summer will give me more freedom to write for enjoyment rather than for a mark. So I guess this is a blog post to tell you that I won't be blogging. As much sense as that makes. I have a list ready that I have yet to publish. What about?'ll have to see when I actually get around to putting it up.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Here are some lyrics for those people in my life who are struggeling. They're probably some of my personal favorite.

I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow
And each road leads you where you want to go
And if you're faced with the choice and you have to choose
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you
And if one door opens to another door closed
I hope you keep on walkin' til you find the window
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile
But more than anything, more than anything

My wish for you
Is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold
And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to
I hope you know somebody loves you
And wants the same things too
Yeah, this is my wish

I hope you never look back but you never forget
All the ones who love you and the place you left
I hope you always forgive and you never regret
And you help somebody every chance you get
Oh, you'd find God's grace in every mistake
And always give more than you take

This, Is My Wish

Ya, I know....I'm cheating by posting lyrics and not my own words. I've been crazy busy, but I will continue blogging.
Here's a link to a beautiful song that is quite well known, but so gorgeous. Take five minutes and seven seconds out of your day to close your eyes and listen. It's worth being five minutes late for that thing you've gotta get to.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

The Best Part About Being At The Bottom...

....Is That The Only Way You Can Look Is UP.

Once again, I failed another test. Two today actually.School is so important to me. I would love to be able to pull off 80s and 90s, and I honestly thought I would be able to. Turns out I have to struggle to get 70s. It almost feels like settling for 70s. And that kind of compromise isn't something that I'm comfortable with. At the same time, I am spending all my efforts trying to pull my grades up. It's a constant struggle and sometimes it seems like no matter how hard I try, I'll only ever be mediocre.

Of course, it could just be that I set my standards too high

.So what if I don't get perfect grades. The reason I don't spend twenty-four hours seven days a week on school work, is because I do other things. I play piano, I volunteer at the school, I help my mom the best I can when dad's not home. And isn't that a much better way to spend my time anyways?
Something else I need to remember is that I’m not other people, and I can’t compare myself to them. I've got these amazing friends who succeed at so many things, and I'm so proud of them. But they're not me. They've made their choices, and I've got to decide where my priorities should be.

Of course, that doesn't still the ever constant fears in my head. Such as getting into university. Being able to continue my studies past high school has always been a goal. I just can't seem to reach getting grades decent enough to be able to choose where I can go.

Sometimes I wonder what God has in mind for my life. I'm thankful He knows, because I honestly haven't got a clue. And that scares me, but really it shouldn't. If I know that He's in control, then I know that things will fall into their own place, and all I can do is do the best with the talents He has given me. Even if I have to find out what those are first. Patience is a constant lesson that He's teaching me.

So today was a bit of an off day. Made better by small moments such as watching my sister and her friends sing their hearts out. Or how amazing and supportive my parents were today. I'm so thankful for my family. Today's rating? 5/10.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

There's No Ship Like Friendship

I'm sort of falling behind with this blogging thing. Don't get me wrong, I still love it, but it's always almost midnight ( like right now) before I start anything. So I'm working on something, for all you readers.(All 4-5 of you.) It's just not finished yet.
So for now, just a short note. My words and the way I express things often makes sense to me, but not really to other people. So for now, here are some quotes from people who know how to use words to paint pictures.

A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.

This couldn't be more true. I've had "friends" who are just the opposite. Those won't accept how I've lived my life, judgemental about my dreams for the future, and quick to comment on how I'm living now.
Not the friends I've got now. These are the kinds of friends worth having and to you I say:

If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus 1 day, so I never have to live without you

Monday, May 10, 2010

What's In A Name?

Over the years I've had several nicknames. Cimbi, Court, Putz, Fred, Eunice, Cork ( the dork), Chiclet, as well as the most recent one, Lady Grey.

Each one has a story, and each one means something totally different.

I think the one that is least known is Cimbi. (pronounced sym-bee) This was my grandfathers nickname for me. He had one for each of his grandchildren. I think he might have called me by my given name once. It was always Cimbi. It's got my initials, and it's got a bit of a story behind it. If I had been a boy, my grandpa would have called me Simba. Not sure how or when he had decided that, but that was how it was in his mind. Of course, when he found out I was a girl, he had to change it. Only one person has called me that since my grandfather passed away a few years ago. That was my Uncle, my mom's only brother. It was at my great-grandmother's 90th birthday and I had just finished up playing the piano, where I had been for pretty much the entirety of the evening. I got up, and was trying to sneak away when my uncle caught my arm, and said “Good job Cimbi". Something so simple. Yet those three words threw me completely off balance. For him, that was the best way to show how much he cared for me, and that isn't something he has shown a lot. It was a neat moment, and showed me just how grateful I am for the small moments.

Second one. Or I guess second ones, since two of them are given to me by the same person. Fred and Putz. If you haven't guessed the name-caller, you don't know my family very well. In case you're a little slower today, it's my dad. Putz is his favourite, and I think it's more-so because of how strange the word really is more than something actually nice and endearing. Fred has a slightly more meaningful story. When I was little, my dad used to read to me and my sister as often as possible. Fred and Ted was our favourite book. It's a simple children's story, but it's been passed down through generations. It's a nickname I get when I'm feeling sort of off, my dad will come over, give me a hug and say " Hey Fred" to which the usual response is " Hey Ted". Some might think it's a silly tradition, but it honestly makes me feel better. My dad usually knows exactly how to fix the silly little problems.

The rest of them ( Eunice, Cork, Court, Chiclet, and Lady Gray) are all names from friends. Eunice and Cork the dork are courtesy of some of my guy friends, who seem to think I have a resemblance to Eunice off of the movie"She's the Man". Chiclet is a nickname from my school friends, in particular my awesome study buddy :). Lady Gray comes from my dear friend Heidi, who turned 18 today. (Happy B-day!) Who seems to think I consume a little bit too much tea. Earl Grey tea in particular. But I love her anyways.

That's all for tonight. I'm off to finish my chamomile tea and drift off to the land of Nod. Today's rating? 7/10.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Defying The Norm

Sometimes I think the best things in life are the things that you do differently from everyone else. Like when you prefer spending time with people half, or even twice your age, over people who might be closer to your age. When you spend your time in airports, making sure that you only are there for 1/2 an hour so that you don't have to pay. When you listen to music because you love it, even when it's ridiculous.

When you don't let what people think about you define who you are. When you break out of what people expect of you. When you let yourself make your choices. When you let God be in control. These are actions that define true bravery. The world needs more people who aren't afraid to be themselves. The amount of people, teenagers especially, that need some sort of confidence boost to be happy, and can never see anything good in themselves are living dangerous lives. People, who are truly happy, are those who find their comfort in Christ, and live their lives to glorify Him, not their peers.

The type of people who aren't afraid to spend their time doing something that might be frowned upon because it's different. Who sing at the top of their lungs whenever they can. Who attend church to worship the Lord, not to gossip, or spend their time with their friends. Who spend their time helping and comforting, not judging.

These types of people are my heroes. They're the kinds of people that I look up to. They're the true heroes. And they don't achieve things by doing what everyone else does. They do it by defying the norm.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Laughter Beats Any Medicine

Especially considering that yesterday's post was slightly gloomy, I figured it would be good to post something slightly more light-hearted and simple. Mostly because I'm exhausted, and I think that looking back over today and finding the positive things is a much more productive way to spend my time.

Below are some things that made me happy today.
-Eating dinner with my whole family, and how we're not too mature to crack ridiculous jokes that would find their place amongst 10-12 year old boys.
-Watching a ridiculous movie with my parents and my sister.( Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure)
-The comic found above.
-Working at the school. Most days I'm not sure if I want to become a teacher, but days like today try their best to convince me otherwise.
-The fact that I've got a 3 day weekend!
-How awesome my friends are.
-Tea. In Earl Grey form.

-Photo shoot with my sister. We didn't get the greatest photos, but it was fun :)

Today, over all, gets a 7/10. :)

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Things To Be Thankful For

Do you ever have those moments where you look at your life and think about what could have happened? For whatever reason, that's what I've been doing for the past few days.

There's a bunch of people I've known since I was really little. Some of them have lives that are slowly falling apart. They don't realize it right now, but it's something that anyone who sees them/ talks to them can easily pick up on.

These are people I grew up with. People I spent my childhood with. And it could just as easily have been me.It could've been my parents waiting up at night hoping and praying that I would come home. It could have been my friends who were replaced by drugs and alcohol. It could have been me constantly fighting to make my life work.

But it's not. God has been watching out for me. And to be honest, sometimes I wonder why. Why it's me who gets to have a beautiful home, and a family who loves me. Why I get to have amazing friends who I know would drop anything and run when I need them. Why my life's challenges are so simple and easy to get over, and when I look back on them, they're so insignificant. Why my family supports me even when I feel I've let them down. Why I felt strong enough in my faith to make profession of faith so young.

Those sorts of thoughts really humble me. Maybe there is a reason I'm so blessed. Maybe instead of all the selfish getting-me-ahead type of plans need to be re-considered. Maybe I should continue looking into some sort of mission work. Do something bold with my life and the gifts I do have.

I really don't know what I'm going to be doing with my life right now. That scares me like crazy. I've got some ideas that I know that would be 'smart'. But I've decided that I'm young, , and I'll make plenty of mistakes, but God knows what He's doing especially when I don't. And that's really the only thing that gets me through most days.

Anyways, those are my 'occasional thoughts' for today :) Out of 10, today gets about a 6. Not horrible, but it's got some room for improvement. Maybe I'll have some tea and do some English, that might push the rating up :)

Monday, May 3, 2010

There's something beautiful about a clean sheet of paper. Something open to new ideas, and an unbiased listener to any sort of problem that finds its way out of a pen.Paper can become anything. A blessing in the form of a letter from a loved one. A birth certificate stating the start of a new life.Paper can bear sad tidings. A loss of a loved one, papers to sign after someone passes away.

Paper can become art. Artists can use paper to channel their greatest works between their minds and the minds of their audience. Musicians share their most beautiful arrangements. All by the simple task of transforming ideas into tangible objects. They themselves become sort of magicians by making something that cannot be measured, something akin to an emotion, and turn it into something concrete and lasting. Something to be passed down and shared.
What better way to channel ideas from one mind to the next then through paper. It is something that can be taken out, read over and over, and appreciated more than once.Paper spreads news. It communicates ideas, it takes emotion and makes it something plausible, and it's slowly being replaced by technology. The need people have for instant communication is slowly taking over the beauty of the hand-written word.

In short, paper is sort of a clean slate. A place to start over, or to continue something beautiful.